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Sunday, June 24, 2007
Seeing all those tears and then comes laughter, made me sit and think. Sometimes, remaining silent is the best thing to do, even when it shatters your heart, even if its too painful for you to keep.You’ve got to swallow it. Mum’s can’t always be the best even if they tried too. They too make mistakes which sometimes can’t be forgiven by others. I don’t know how to put yesterday’s family’s gathering, in words.
Secrets which are too painful and has been long kept in the heart, has all been poured out, together with tears and laughter. It’s heartbreaking seeing your own family hurt. It hurts us so much.
Feeza, if ever you were here,yesterday, hearing out our Kak Caca, pouring out her feelings towards the person who gave birth to her, you might cry with us too. You would never expect how much sacrifices she had done for her family, and we didn’t know bout it. I’ll share with you what I’ve learnt from yesterday’s gathering so that you know roughly what happen.

1- No matter how much your mum hates you, you still have to love and show her your concern.
2- No matter how bad your father used to be, forgive and still love him.
3- Sacrifices comes in many different ways. It can even be in a way you don’t expected it to be.
4- No matter how strong you are, facing your own problems, you somehow have a little tiny part of you which is soft when being touched on certain issues.
5- Marriage is not a easy part of life to handle and don’t marry if you are not financially and mentally prepared. It will brings you to the path where big huge issues surrounds you.
6- When you are married, sex is important even if you are old. If your man don’t get it, they will ROAR!!!!
7- Our grandma, is cunning and not always that nice..hehehehe…shhhhh..
I hope everything goes out smoothly and our family will bond even more like we used too.

“Its funny how someone can break your heart and you still love them with all that little pieces”
I found this saying when I was surfing the net. I totally agree with it. It all depends on certain people. How they handle things in life. Not everyone will end up with the one they hoped for. Three words- this is life. Life is all about making sacrifices. I see a lot of people around me sacrificing a lot of things due to love. I personally sacrificed a lot myself, till the extend of my dignity being at stake. But everything really doesn’t matter cause as time goes by I know they happened for many different reasons.
Falling in love is the most scariest thing. You can fall in love with someone over a minute, but to forget them, might take you years. When my heart was shattered into tiny pieces, I thought I could never make it again. But alhamdullilah, Allah still loves me and had create many beautiful people to care for me till this very day. I used to dreamt of getting married, having a family, babies, a house of my own and so much more. But now, it scares me. Even guys/men scares me till I have to swallow those prescribed drugs whenever I had anxiety attack. It was painful- the head, the mind, the body.
Alhamdullilah everything is going to be over. I guess I had to face the music, face the consequences of my past mistakes when I was naïve.
Conclusion: I still have faith in love cause I know love has its own beautiful ways. I will still take the risk cause love = risks. Not now mayb, but I’ll never know when is love will come knocking on my door. A broken heart full of love is hard to fix.

You stayed with me till now after whatever happen.
No words can ever describe how I appreciate you.
you know i miss you