Photobucket

Thursday, March 15, 2007
I take my life like a big huge piece of white cloth covered with bright wonderful colours and patches of dirts which i've created by mistake or purposely. Those patches are sometimes hard to get rid of. No matter how much i've tried to scrub it off, it gets dirtier. And so sometimes, they stay and leave a stain on it. One of those stains represent my love life.Not all my love life are horrible nor as dirty as those dirts. All happy moments have sad times in between. All smiles will turn around sometimes.Get what i mean.

I used to force "that love" that was once cherished soo much.That was once rolling over, but i tried my best to keep it up again.That was once, jumped over looads of hurdle,and we did our best to jump it together.But sadly, we didn't make it. The last hurdle was way too high for us. Never that i thought, "that love" was ripped into 2 after that. Its hard trying my best all this time to be the most perfect babe in those eyes. Yeh people say no one's a perfect.Even me.But i tried.In the end i fell in my own fantasy of wanting to be the only sugar-sweetheart in "that" little heart.

There will never be a second chance for us. "That love" that i see available for her was soo strong. I don't have the heart to stand as a piller stopping it from coming through. I just can't. Those tears that roll down are just a waste.No matter how many buckets full or seas i've cried, longing for "that love" to come back, i'll never have it back. Cause now i've realised that , "that love" was never mend for me.Never with me. Never for me and never "loved" me. How painfull it was, having to let go of "that love" for the second time. But this time round, it will never come back.I won't be hoping for it anymore. It's time now..It''s the time, i move on without " that love". But it will stay in my heart forever. I'm living without you baby.

Mak, we are not mend to be 1 like we used too. You are putting your hopes at the wrong situation.Mak forgive me for not listening to you,when you told me not to fall deeply in love.I regret and i felt the pain now.I apologised but forget bout "that love".He never loves your daughter like what you thought of. He was never with me.I guess. please don't pressurize me to that extend.If only you could help me get him back for me, but i know its impossible.Ask him.

F_____, how i wished you know how much he loves you.How i wished i could tell you that he really wants you. I wished i could tell you how he cried for you.I've never,never seen him cry this way.Consider yourself lucky to have such a wonderful person that really loved you soo much. Give him a chance to prove himself to you. Don't let him drown in his own love like me. Give him a chance to love you.Feel his love babe. He really loves you....I wish you the best and be strong Smoochy Friend. I'm always here for you as a friend that u consider.I hope.

It's just one thing to understand what's happening to me,it's time to be able to do something concrete about it.Everyone around me has advice, althought
most of it sounds the same-"You need to find someone else", "Time will heal the pain", "Accept what happened and move on".While many of these suggestions have an element of truth,it doesn't help to hear,them,while you're suffering,especially if they don't fit the emotions i;m experiencing at the current stage.In fact, the more "help" i get, the worse i felt and those well meaning advices starts to sound so cold or irritating.As i said, it's time for me to move on.I gotta be strong. I gotta.

Its time for a real entry...
Life--- Life is struggling trying to catch up certain things.Trying to recover from a fall.I've gotta MOVE ON.. Bike license on the way.Catch me the most sexiest and cutest( nyahahha) lady on the road.
School----1 week to 3 weeks of holidays.Apart from going out to certain places like the driving centre, Sentosa,East Coast and etc..., Here i come!!!! (nyahahah)..To that hot guy classmate in class sitting behind left of me, i like you.I've just notice you are cute and fresh...okokla...i admire you je..I still love my Smoochy Friend ok.
Book----Went to the library and borrowed this book tittled" When Your Lover Leaves You".Its damned hell fun...It tells you all the solutions to ease your mind and recover from those pains you are going through and to get up on your feet once again. Read it...

Labels: