 *Nur' Ain Madzlan *often misunderstood *frequent mood swings *frequent anxiety attacks *addicted to green apples mail/msn: flubbery_blue@hotmail.com |
Monday, January 29, 2007
The itch to swing my arms were controlled, i tell myself tat i should never back to old-self and tat he's the one i loved..I can't bear to hurt him any further.I can't.My temperature kept rising up, i tried to control.I dun wanna throw any more of my temper at him wen i shouldn't at the first place.I dun want history to repeat.Those marks tat hurts reminds me of the past.Wen i look at it,situation change and i felt scared.The body shivering in pain and scared, i try to hide.I dun want him to noe i;m afraid of him.Now i've realised tat my feelings does not matter anymore, my feelings should not be the first thing.its not about me anymore.It does not matter if i'm hurt,sad,unhappy or angry.It does not.really DOES NOT.All tat matters is tat he's happy.i kept on trying to find an answer on why i can't make people happy, why i make people angry,sad and so on.Why?.Does the answer relies back on me?Do i have the answer all tis while but i choose not to realised it? Get wat i'm saying?? I dun.Relationships can be the sweetest thing but yet it can sometimes be a rollercoaster ride and a painful journey.Which is mine? I dun have the answer.I tried frm the beginning to make it as sweet as anything but it kept on turning sour.I guess the problem is me.It comes frm me.I'll endure.i'll be patient.i noe everything happen for a reason.i just want him.i dun want him to leave. i believe everything will be fine. |