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Saturday, September 17, 2005
Its been a long tIme sInce I last update...Alot of things have been happening around me...
Working life and studying cannot be mixed..I noticed it now..Its been quite sometime since i have started working...And i have notice a lot of changes in my life..Alot of bad changes and "some" good ones too...Life is not as easy as i have planned...Things are getting out of my hands lately...I feel soo tired..I noe all tis is wat i wanted and i cannot show tat i have taken the wrong path...I noe i'm being ego...I have too..But sometimes i kinda like tis life..Noeing new peeps..exploring the big world..There is just too much for me to explore...Izzin't it fun...
I love you!! I love you!!! I love you!! I love you!!! I love you!!! I love you!! I love you!! i Love yOu!! I love you!!!! I lOve you!!! I love You!!!! I love YoU!!!! i love You!!! I love You!!! I LOVe YOu!!!! I love YoU!!!! i LOVE yOu!!! I lOVE yOu!!!! I love you!!!! i lOve you!!! I love YoUU!!! I love yOu!!!! I ove yOouu!!! i Love yOouu!!! I love yOOOu!!! i Lovee yOOu!!! I lovee yOuu!!!! I love Yooouu!!!! I love Yoou!!! i Love YoU!!!!!! i reallY love You!!!!! I reallY loVE reaLLy really REALLy really really love yOu Ain!!!!! I love yOu Ain!!!!!
I am holding onto soo much pressure..With my mum who has been sicked for nearly 3 weeks...She has not been recovering even after going to doctors...Not sure why...Housework is always waiting for me..Rushing home after skool to work is a normal routine eventhough i do not work everyday...Homeworks and revision has to be done till its nearly sunrise again...Falling asleep during class is wat i have been doing lately..Laughing too much will make me cry..Keeping quiet will make me feel restless...Just wat shall i do to make myself feel normal and satisfied??! Soaking my nerves with liquid tat will make me fly and puffing tar into my body is a new thing for me to do to relieve the stress and pressure...Finishing up every can that i opened up will make me feel free...I was not being influence by any of my frens...The needs and tat eager feeling just controlls me..Am i turning into Princess Fiona?? Wer i'm a beauty outside by the family but actually turns into a beast (for me) wen i'm outside..?? I myself am not sure...I am not blaming anyone for my changes..I am trying my best to hide my bad attitudes 2wards everyone...I try to be myself..I try soo hard but sight of cans and boxes kept me going on...I am not sure wat the future lies for me....Anybody care to give me a tight slap so as i can wake up from my fantasy??!!! My mind is damned tired!!! I need a break from all of yoU!!!! stOP doIng tIs tO me!!!!! I hate it!!! all of yoU are DriVing me Insane!!!! AaaaaRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!
P.S:Butiwillalwaysloveyouwhobroughtthesunbackshiningtome!!Muaaacksss!!!!